While the rest of my classmates spent spring break in warm, beach resorts, getting drunk off their asses, I stayed in New York City. My girlfriend Kita from Britain came to visit. We can’t see each other often, so it was a meaningful week for the two of us.
A blizzard rolled through on Tuesday, closing down just about everything. All the days after, slush and snow covered the city. We often reached our destinations wet-footed and shivering, but it didn’t stop us. My girlfriend and I went to the Natural History Museum, the MET, Chelsea Market, Joe’s Pizza, Doughnut Plant, Centeal Park, Staten Island, and the Bronx Zoo, which was dead at this time of year. The weather complicated things, but we enjoyed our time together regardless.
Now that the week is over, I realized how much I hate daily life. The week showed me how good life could be without classes or work. It wasn’t perfect by any means. I still worried about my responsibilities for the following week, I stressed about money, and I didn’t sleep well because a twin-sized bed just isn’t enough space for two people. Yet, all this showed me where I want to be.
School is necessary. Work is necessary. Maybe even stress is necessary. It guides us on the path to a steady, prosperous life. But I don’t want to start myself on this path. I don’t even want to be on the path. I want a steady life to spend with my girlfriend without worry or stress or the restraint of a tiny bed. My future is uncertain. All this work and suffering could be for nothing. I want every week to be like a vacation and I want it like that now.
I don’t mean to bitch, but I’ve been floating through life, aimless and apathetic, just going through the motions. I didn’t even realize how unhappy I was. I needed to express myself or else I might explode.
He Who Wanders 