The Self-Esteem Dilemma

I, along with the majority of people I’ve met, struggle with some insecurity. For some it’s just a bother. For others it’s crippling. They become so conscious of the way they look, talk, and/or move that they close themselves in their room. Then, the insecurities fester. When next this person interacts with others, they act as if they had never seen another living soul in all their life. They start to sweat and blush and stutter. They go into a panic attack.

Okay, it’s not so bad for most people. Regardless, who wants a low self-esteem? Don’t we all want to be strong and confident?

However, fixing self-esteem issues is an issue in itself. Self-esteem is such an abstract concept. I’ve heard several times in several situations, “You just have to be confident.” But it’s not so simple. You know that. One does not simply flip a switch to change confidence.Maybe you think to yourself, “If only people complimented me more, then I wouldn’t feel so bad about myself.” But if you think back, I’m sure there was a recent time when someone complimented you. It felt nice for a second…or maybe it didn’t. Maybe you didn’t accept the compliment because you didn’t believe it was true. Anyways, here you are now, still feeling sorry for yourself.

See, the thing is that it doesn’t matter how many times someone compliments you. It doesn’t matter at all what others say. Think about it. There’s always that guy who has nothing going for him. He’s a short, ugly, stupid asshole, and yet, incredibly confident. Why? Because he thinks he’s awesome.

The only thing that matters is what you tell yourself. That asshole tells himself that he’s awesome, so he believes it. You’re no different. Tell yourself that you’re special. If you keep telling yourself that you’re special, you’ll believe it eventually.

I know. Progress is slow, and it will always be a battle. Thoughts will creep in. Thoughts like “You’re hideous,” “You’re an idiot,” etc. Shove. Them. Out. Compliment yourself in place of that insult or simply say “Stop it. Stop it. Stop it,” until the poisonous thought leaves. If you keep insulting yourself, you will believe the insults. So. Fight. Fight. Fight. That is the only way. It will be hard, but it can only get easier with time.

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