He Who Wanders

I always have my head in the clouds. I pass the time by receding into my mind and disappearing into elaborate fantasies. Of course, when you’re as obsessed with romance as I am, you can’t help but to imagine a nice, pretty girl to woo. Now, think how many times I imagine this girl over the course of a day, a week, a month…Each time I perfect the girl more and more, making a more and more ideal partner. Then, send me out into the real world. I search for the girl and realize after finding no one…I have high standards.

But what’s wrong with that?

Well for one, the probability of dating a girl becomes tiny. About half the world is made up of women. How many of those women are close enough in age to me? How many of those women are close enough in location to me? How many of those women are single? How many of those women like my personality and looks? In the grand scheme of things, it’s a small number. Now add in all my preferences in women. That number gets even smaller. Since I haven’t found anyone “perfect” just yet, who’s to say that that number isn’t zero?

So…I need to lower my standards to make the number bigger. That way I can actually find and get a girlfriend. But why should I do that? If I do lower my standards, I’ll be saying, “Well, she’s not great, but she’s the best I can do.” And while I say that to myself, I’ll plant a seed of doubt, which will grow and grow and grow…Also, no girl wants to hear that you settled for her. That’s for sure. Not that I would say it, but you never know. Maybe she’d find out somehow.

Bear in mind that my standards aren’t so high that I am actually looking for the perfect woman. No. She’s just freaking fantastic! What if she’s out there too? I don’t want to end up with someone who’s good enough when I could have someone who’s freaking fantastic!

I get the feeling that I’m not explaining this well enough. Alright. There’s another problem that I can definitely argue against.

Maybe I’m not good enough for my fantasy girl. That’s fine. We can fix that. I’m not fit enough? Exercise more and eat better. Check! I’m a sarcastic asshole? Practice manners and toning down the sarcasm. Check! I’m not smart enough? Read and study more. Check! 

Here’s my thought: you want someone special, be someone special. Make it a daily goal to improve yourself in every way. Because when you meet someone who passes your high standards, you want to impress her. You want to deserve her and you want her to know you deserve her. Worst case scenario: you become a better person and feel better about who you are. What’s wrong with that?